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DISCLAIMER: The following recap should be used for entertainment purposes only. It is NOT an official transcript of the show, is NOT fact checked by the hosts and is NOT up for any literary awards. To hear Whatever, word-for-fabulous-word, TUNE IN TO THE SHOW!
It’s Friday, so it’s open phones!
Dead mother’s club dinner
Jennifer, her sister and two other girls had dinner last night and it was great. She asked for her scallops to be grilled and plain and they came in tons of butter. Alexis said that was because she went to “that dump, Cipriani” and said it was crappy and overpriced. Jennifer said it has been redone and it’s delicious. Alexis wasn’t convinced.
Cold feet?
Kristen just got engaged in November after being with someone for over 10 years. She said her guy was fantastic but she was freaking out about not making out with anyone else ever again. Alexis recommended relaxing and not getting married right away. Kristen said they already set a date (Sept. 4th). Jennifer confirmed that Kristen had been happy for 12 years and didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. Also, Kristen absolutely loved him and was very attracted to him. Jennifer said she thought Kristen was just having jitters about making it ‘official’ when all along she and her boyfriend have practically been married anyway. Kristen asked Alexis if she was allowed to make out with a stranger. Alexis said she shouldn’t do that and Jennifer said Kristen would want to confess to her boyfriend if she did. The girls thought Kristen was just afraid and she already had something good, so why mess with it? Alexis said maybe she should go to therapy for a couple sessions because sex with strangers wasn’t that much fun. Jennifer said Kristen shouldn’t be freaking out about it. Kristen said she’d call every Friday before the wedding. Alexis and Jennifer asked if they were invited to the wedding. Kristen said yes, but only if they come. The girls said they would. Jennifer put Kristen’s dilemma out to the listeners. Alexis said the idea of sticking your tongue down some germy guy’s throat when you had your own hottie at home was disgusting!
Callers’ advice for Kristen
Sharon, a longtime listener “well into her 50s” called in. She said people in their 20s don’t want to take responsibility for their decisions and they are all so “doggone” spoiled. Alexis said Kristen wasn’t 20, she was 35. Oops.
Desiree said you just have to live life the way it is presented and why would she screw up 12 years if she is still in love with him? She has everything! She is just nervous.
Ted said he thinks Kristen thinks the grass is greener and she should run from this because she’ll never be satisfied. He said everyone was nervous when they got married but if you are worried about stuff like this at the outset, you’ll always be worried about it. Ted thinks it’s a warning sign and a red flag.
Lynn said Kristen was getting ready to hit her sexual peak. Alexis wanted to know what male doctor made that crap up. Lynn said she knew it was true – it was from 35-50 and now she could care less about having sex. Alexis said she was looking forward to not caring about sex.
Elizabeth said she just got married after 11 years and started to have similar thoughts and that the grass is not greener on the other side. Alexis agreed and said it was brown and shriveled.
Katie married her husband after dating him for 7 years and feelings like that evaporated once she envisioned her husband kissing someone else. She realized how betrayed she would feel if her husband did that to her and her feelings dissipated.
May said that Kristen was not valuing her relationship with this guy. If you truly value someone you wouldn’t be thinking about things like this. Alexis said it was just a thought and Kristen was questioning this thought anyway. Give her a break, she’s just scared of the change!
Alexis said if you are not scared before you get married there is something wrong. Jennifer agrees.
Amy said she understands what Kristen was saying and she has thought about how great a first kiss with someone else would be but that doesn’t mean she is going to cheat on her boyfriend. Jennifer said the problem was that people don’t want to accept that there was choice involved in all of this. Amy’s advice was don’t do it, Kristen, you’ll regret it.
Tana’s problem
Tana works with this 20something that she hates. The woman hits on all the guys and gives her dirty looks. Tana said someone told her that this girl was envious of her because she was pretty. Jennifer said the woman sounded obnoxious and Tana should just ignore her. Alexis said that was the perfect response because it would drive the woman crazy. Tana said she was gonna have her hot sister come in and flirt with this girl’s husband who just started working there. Alexis said not to bother.
Word of the week: Paraphelia
Oops, emailed the wrong person!
Julie wanted to know if anyone had any email mishaps where they sent stuff to the wrong person or replied all. She said she was texting her boyfriend and said she needed a bottle of wine and great sex one night and accidentally sent it to her brother. Julie also had someone at work accidentally forward comments about one of her emails back to her. Julie never said anything to the person about receiving the email. She just figured she’d drive the woman crazy by letting her stew.
Jennifer’s ring
Jennifer posted pictures on her blog of her original engagement ring that she had reset. It was initially very ornate and she hated it. Most people said it looked great. Other people said it was rude that she changed it. Jennifer said Keithy didn’t care at all…not even a little bit. Paulie said he would care. Alexis said of course, Paulie would be someone who would spend a long time picking it out and would get emotional about it.
Rich said he thought the ring looked great and we should all have jewelry we can wear. Rich added that he was NOT “very gay Rich” in Boston but he’d be happy to meet him. Alexis said, “You’ll be at the rest stop at exit 43?” Rich said, “Exactly.”
Show some restraint
Troy said he has this ex from a couple years ago (there was a restraining order involved) who sent him three drunken texts in a row last week. He doesn’t know if he should report it or not. Alexis said he should so that there is a record. Troy said he wasn’t sure that a few drunken text messages were worth starting trouble. Alexis said maybe let it go but if it happened one more time he would have to report it. Alexis added she had to take a guy to court once because after she broke up with him he punched in her mailbox and also left a message on her machine saying something about breaking her legs. She was so sick of it she got a restraining order but it didn’t help. He came out of the closet a few years after they broke up. Kathy said Troy could get his number blocked. He just needs to call his carrier and they will block the pone from receiving anything from that number. Alexis wasn’t convinced this was possible. She said she changed phone numbers and knows people can still text her on her old phone number.
Exit 43? Oh no you will NOT meet very Gay Rich there, Rich!
Ken in Boston just called in to say that his BOYFRIEND Rich in Boston will not be meeting anyone at any rest stop in the near future.
The case of the multitasking secretary
John gets Botox every 6 months and this past Monday he asked the nurse to look at this other thing on his face. The nurse asked the receptionist to help him because the anaesthetist was busy. Alexis asked if this girl ever did any procedures. John said all she did was answer the phone as far as he knew. It was awkward so he told the nurse and the girl that he had to go back to work. Now the girl keeps calling trying to set up an appointment. He loves the nurse he goes to but is not comfortable with this other girl touching his face. Jennifer said he should ask the nurse what the deal is. Alexis said he should go somewhere else to get the other thing looked at. Jennifer said to just be honest.
You lookin’ at me?!?!?!?
Michael was on the subway reading The Great Expectation School when he felt eyes on him. He looked up and saw this guy staring and then the guy winked at him. (For the record, Michael is not gay.) The man kept looking at Michael until Michael slammed the book shut and just stared back at him angrily. Then the guy got off. Jennifer quipped, “We know he got off.” Alexis wondered why Michael got angry. Michael admitted it was because the guy though he was gay and he isn’t. Jennifer said Michael should take it as a compliment. Michael said he knew it was going to be a bad day that day when a pigeon hit his head. Alexis exclaimed, “An entire pigeon???!”
Phonebook
Alexis said she was thinking of getting rid of her Facebook account. Jennifer said the face of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, was too ugly to be the face of Facebook and apparently he recently said he hoped Facebook ultimately ended up replacing the telephone. Alexis said she didn’t see it happening and she was completely uninterested anyway. Mickey said Facebook has almost replaced the phone for her. She has 4 kids and Facebook was just easier and useful. Alexis still didn’t get it. Jennifer said Alexis wasn’t into communicating in general so obviously she wasn’t going to use Facebook the way Jennifer was going to use it.
Fishing while intoxicated
Rhonda was fishing and caught white perch. She said she was going to deep fry them. Alexis said she gave up fish and it was really depressing. Rhonda said she would freeze fish and send them to Alexis but Jennifer told her not to bother because Alexis would never eat them. Alexis asked if Rhonda was drinking again. Rhonda replied in the affirmative. Alexis remarked that Rhonda wouldn’t remember this conversation tomorrow.
Happy belated birthday, Jennifer!
Jennifer said they were going out to dinner tonight. Alexis said it was for Jennifer’s birthday. Jennifer yelled, “IT IS NOT MY BIRTHDAY!” Alexis said that was the excuse Martha was using because she just needed someone to take to a restaurant opening. Alexis said she was hungry and thirsty…for wine.
Sperm for sale
Paulie said Michael the intern wouldn’t sell his sperm and he wouldn’t do it either. Michael said you wouldn’t be able to keep distance between you and a girl that had your child. Alexis’s solution: “Move”...or have a contract. Michael said his conscience would get to him. Paulie said he could possibly do it as an anonymous donor in a sperm bank but not with someone he knew and besides, he never had a friend that he was close enough to anyway. Alexis said not being close might be better. Michael read the requirements that were necessary in order to be a donor. Paulie didn’t think there was a sperm bank that would take sperm from him. Alexis said if you were healthy and reasonably good looking, they’d take you. Sean in Alabama is gay and his close straight girlfriend asked him for his sperm but he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He doesn’t know how you give up your parental responsibility. Plus, she is moving away, so that would be strange. Sean is interested in doing it, though, and loves his friend. Jennifer said in that case she thought he should help the friend out. Alexis said it would be a nice thing to do.
Whatever Martha, you’re wasted
Matt said he loved Whatever, Martha! and wanted to find out how they selected the episodes. Alexis said the producers picked the episodes so the girls’ reactions would be off-the-cuff. Matt brought up the episode about how to put dishes in a dishwasher. Jennifer said she was flipping out because it was so ridiculous– who doesn’t know how to put dishes in a dishwasher!? Matt asked if Martha was hitting on the bartender in the tropical drinks episode. Alexis said no, Martha was just getting wasted.
Too smart to date people?
Jennifer read something that said smart people spent more time trying to achieve things than be in relationships but Alexis might not fall into that category. Alexis did, however, tend to get in her own way re: getting involved in relationships. Alexis asked Jennifer who she has dated that Jennifer would’ve wanted to stick around. Jennifer said none of them…they were all beneath Alexis in more ways than one. She added, though, that Alexis eliminates most of the dating pool as possibilities. Alexis said everyone did that and it was just that she based her opinions on her gut reaction. Jennifer said Alexis was like the werewolves in the Twilight books. When they met someone who was perfect for them, they imprinted immediately. Huh?
Stay tuned!