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DISCLAIMER: The following recap should be used for entertainment purposes only. It is NOT an official transcript of the show, is NOT fact checked by the hosts and is NOT up for any literary awards. To hear Whatever, word-for-fabulous-word, TUNE IN TO THE SHOW!
Embarrassed much?
Jennifer had been drinking diet Pepsi and burped really loudly, forgetting that call screener Morgan was in the room. What embarrassing things have people done? Tammy was at work and when she stood up to greet the guy she had a crush on, her skirt fell down to her knees! Another caller introduced herself to a patient’s family as the doctor she had a crush. Alexis went on a blind date once and forgot his name and ended up calling him the name of the person she had been talking to beforehand. April’s boob fell out on some guy's face when she was a 16-year-old cheerleader. Terry’s maxi pad fell out in the middle of a tennis match. Michelle’s arm got stuck between auditorium seats in her high school and the maintenance guys had to unscrew the chairs to get her out. Rachel grabbed a stranger’s package.
Cuffed
Alexis was walking home last night wearing a t-shirt, down jacket and a scarf. She was cold so she put her hands in her not particularly elastic sleeves and was wearing the sleeves like a muff. She got home and tried to pull one hand out and couldn’t so she just used her elbow. The regular doorman wasn’t there so there was this acne scarred gopher behind the desk. She got to the elevator and STILL couldn’t get her hands out of her cuffs. It was really painful and she pulled as hard as she could. FYI, she would’ve gone back to her friend’s house first before she asked the gross doorman.
More stories
Leslie went on a sales call with someone she didn’t know that well. The guy who ran the office was the brother of Drew Bledsoe – Adam. She said Leslie shouldn’t mention his brother’s name because he was super sensitive about it. They got to the office, sat down and this other woman said, “So, Drew…” Leslie started laughing and couldn’t stop. She spit water all over the conference table. Then SHE kept calling him Drew. Mary jumped into a moving boat and her top came off in front of a bunch of guys. Sally was sitting in the front row at church when the pastor referred to death row inmate Carla Fey Tucker as Carla Tay Fucker. Sharon’s skirt fell down in the 7th grade. She was standing there wearing a garter, nylons and panties. (Jennifer said these were very progressive undergarments for a 12-year-old.) Laura called her husband at the office and she said, “Why don’t you come home and eff my brains out.” Unfortunately she was on speakerphone and there was a client in his office.
It’s not me, it’s YOU
Jennifer hates when people say they can’t love you until they love themself. Alexis said, “’It’s not you, it’s me’ means it’s YOU.”Jennifer has a friend in a relationship with this guy who seems to really like the friend but always says stuff like, “I want to take it to the next level but I can’t love you until I can find a way to love myself.” He doesn’t have another girlfriend and he doesn’t seem to be lying. What does that mean!? Alexis thinks it’s a bizarre excuse. Jennifer put it out to the listeners.
Paulie said he would use that line as a bailout. Heidi agreed with Paulie. Her husband was a therapist and heard this line all the time. It’s a fear of commitment. When people were scared they tried to get out of it. Alexis said maybe they were afraid of getting dumped. Jennifer said the line was bologna and maybe it was coming from a place where he was afraid that if he actually let her in she wouldn’t really like him. Jennifer said her single friends’ problems were so taxing. Alexis said, “Well they’re not yours, so relax!”Joe asked how old the friend was. The friend was 38 and the guy was 42. Joe said she should move on because he probably had a lot of baggage and didn’t want to have a real relationship with her. Kay said he didn’t have the right to do this to her and if she stuck around and took it, it was her fault. Jennifer said her friend needed to give him a kind of ultimatum because it was holding her back. She doesn’t date, etc.
Acupuncture?
Jennifer’s upper back hurts and she wants to know if people believe in acupuncture. Alexis said you can’t prove that acupuncture works scientifically, it isn’t cheap and takes a lot of time. Alexis has gone to one chiropractor for 12 years. She went for acupuncture once because she broke out around her mouth when she stopped taking birth control. When she finallystarted taking antibiotics, her face cleared up. The acupuncture did nothing. Neisha said western medicine was great but there were side effects and just because acupuncture ddin’t work for one thing didn’t mean it wouldn’t work for other things. She had friends use acupuncture and it helped with their horrible back pain - and it didn’t damage their liver. Alexis said neither did massage, yoga and a chiropractor. Muscle tightness contributed to all of this, so the stretching was always a good idea. One caller suggested Jennifer use a warm moist towel and a heating pad -or roll on a tennis ball. Alexis used to use a tennis ball but now used a baseball. Even better!
Turtlenecks are not the rage
Jennifer read an article about an uncircumcised guy that didn’t want his son to be circumcised. His wife, however, wanted the kid circumcised. She viewed her husband’s penis as something she just dealt with. Generally speaking, most guys are circumcised and most girls prefer a circumcised penis. Jennifer had yet to meet a girl who longed for the foreskin. Alexis said it was ugly and it tickled the back of your throat. Alexis always thought that uncircumcised penises were always smaller even though she knew this wasn’t actually the case.
Josef Fritzl
The girls talked about the Austrian guy who kept his daughter in a basement cell for 24 years, raped her and fathered 7 kids with her. One baby died but he did not plead guilty to murder. Alexis said if you kept someone in a cellar for 24 years, raped them and impregnate them, you should be put in a basement for 24 years or be put in prison for at least that amount of time. Jennifer said the wife supposedly did not know. Alexis said that was ridiculous! The woman was now 42 years old. Wouldn’t you miss an 18-year-old person? Apparently he raped her in front of the kids! How did the wife not know? Did she not hear anything? How big was the house?
What did Ruth know?
Did Ruth Madoff know what her husband was doing? They are scared since he pled guilty that she was going to flee. Alexis said she probably didn’t know. And what about his brothers, niece and sons. He claimed it was just him. Alexis didn’t believe that. He could be shtupping his secretary and his wife might not have know about that either. Paul said even if she knew nothing about the business, the money she has is money he stole from people. Should she give it back? Alexis doesn’t think she should be left with nothing but all the money she has IS stolen money. Jennifer said this was over the course of 20 years and if she didn’t know her husband was stealing, they shouldn’t take all of her money. Alexis said she dated a bond trader and she knew nothing about what he did, nor was she interested. It was just come home and take off your pants.
Stay tuned!