blog advertising is good for you
DISCLAIMER: The following recap should be used for entertainment purposes only. It is NOT an official transcript of the show, is NOT fact checked by the hosts and is NOT up for any literary awards. To hear Whatever, word-for-fabulous-word, TUNE IN TO THE SHOW!
Jennifer’s blog
Jennifer recently posted a blog about how she could never do a back walkover and thought she was too old to learn how to do one at this point. The blog before that she had posted a picture of Julia Roberts with unshaven armpits. Well, it seemed that people got so angry about the Julia blog that their rage came out in the back walkover blog. People felt the need to tell Jennifer that she couldn’t do a back walkover because she was fat so how could she comment on Julia Roberts’ armpits. Alexis said she had seen fat girls doing back walkovers, so that was just ridiculous. Jennifer said the blog wasn’t even about her weight, although she often blogged about her weight and never hid who she was! Rich said the blog commenters didn’t have the balls to call in. Alexis agreed that they were pussies. Jennifer said they weren’t going to post nonsensical hater comments. Jennifer didn’t say anything bad about Julia Roberts, she just noted that she had hairy armpits!
Hairy pits?
Alexis wanted to know what people thought about hairy pits. Paulie said it would be a dealbreaker for him. Alexis said Julia probably got her upper lip waxed, so why not shave pits? It was her choice, obviously, but it’s okay to be surprised that she doesn’t shave her armpits. Ann said she was married to a freak who convinced her to grow out the hair on her legs and arms for one winter. Jill said hairy armpits were disgusting! She lived for a year in Sweden as an exchange student where they don’t shave. They don’t shower every day, either so they smell a bit. Alexis was more interested in Jill’s exchange experience and the fact that she didn’t speak a lick of English when she was there. She spent the entire year there and didn’t come home once.
Exchange students
Nancy said that in high school her family hosted an exchange student from Japan who couldn’t speak a word of English. She lived with them for a whole year and ultimately became very Americanized. Her son is now 15 and was begging them to let him go somewhere. She said he was interested in their Irish heritage. Jennifer said he really just wanted to have sex with an Irish girl and Alexis said he didn’t give a flying eff about his heritage, he wanted to drink and sleep with girls. The girls told Nancy she should let her son go. Jill said her 18-year-old son went to Argentina to live with a family for a month and the son of the Argentinian family lived with them for a month and it was a wonderful experience. Jill had another son who was robbed at knifepoint in Australia and was assaulted just for being an American. Mahaya called to say Australians loved Americans but if you were a tool, obviously you’d get hit you in the face. Alexis said the Australians she has met were friendly but arrogant. Sharon hosted a wonderful student. They paid for the student’s full year of tuition. They had one from Budapest and she ended up marrying an American guy and the research she did over here won her a science award.
Speaking of Australia…
Keith Urban was born in New Zealand but moved to Australia. Alexis said Australians like to say that New Zealanders spend a lot of time shtupping sheep. Sue thought it was strange that a country singer came from another country. Alexis said she thought country and western was strange no matter what. Jennifer said country music was all about telling stories and the songs had ridiculous titles. Paulie read some out, including: “Drop Kick Me Jesus,” “I gave her the Ring she Gave me the Finger,” “Rednecks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer, “ and “She got the Coal Mine and I got the Shaft.”
Alexis’s GOOEY cab ride
Alexis’s new thing was to use all of her AMEX gift cards to pay for taxi rides because then she didn’t have to touch dirty change, etc. Her cab driver started sneezing and there was mucous and spittle going everywhere. Gobs of snot were flying out of his nose! It was getting worse as she was trying to use the credit card. It wasn’t working so she pulled out cash. She asked for a receipt and there was wet everywhere. She threw the $7 through the partition and he was yelling at her about something. She wasn’t sure what. She got out and slammed the door, ran where she was going and dove into the sink. Alexis said she was going to start carrying surgical masks and goggles.
Alex Rodriguez
He was interviewed for Details magazine and in the beginning of the lame article it talks about the fact that A-Rod was drinking at photo shoot. Later, the writer mentioned that A-Rod called him the night after the interview and asked him to leave out the part where he said what his favorite Madonna song was. The writer complied but implied that he couldn’t believe that THAT was what he was concerned about. It was obvious the writer didn’t like A-Rod and Alexis said the writer was implying that Rodriguez knew what was going to happen the next day (re: his steroid use becoming public knowledge), but no one else knew what was going to happen so he had to keep drinking to loosen up and pretend he didn’t have any problems. Alexis said people were absolutely always drunk when they did these shoots. NO one wanted to be half naked in front of a roomful of people who were staring at them with critical eyes! She didn’t the writer needed to mention that he was drinking because everyone did it. Jennifer said if you go to a photo shoot and the interviewer is there anything you do can be reported. said there were homoerotic undertones to A-Rod’s photos.
Sex game
Renee knew that the most common sexually transmitted disease in the US was HPV and that EC stood for emergency contraception but she did not know the name of a certain behind-the-scenes job on a porn flick. Rhonda knew that it was a fluffer but thought a polyamorist had more than one spouse, which was not true. (A polygamist had more than one spouse, a polyamorist loved more than one person.) Claudette knew that penis pumps did not create a larger penis and that the earliest condom manufacturer was a sausage maker. She did not, however, know that a man could have an orgasm without ejaculating. Mary in California did not know that the frenulum was the skin on the underside of the penis and that it was highly sensitive. Ron did not know that kegal exercises worked on a guy’s ability to orgasm. EJ did not know this either. (FYI: This game and others are found on Smartsco.com.) Nancy knew that in early Chinese literature, the term swelling mushroom referred to a penis. She did not know that in a web survey, residents of Norway were most likely to admit they had a one night stand. Diana got the answer wrong, too. Kim got the answer right but did not know that women between 40 and 80 years old DO NOT have sex once a week. Heather did not know what portion of web searches were about sex. Toni got it right – 25%. Toni knew that Wilt Chamberlain boasted that he slept with 20,000 but did not know what a CreMaster was. (It is a muscle that elevates the testicle when the penis was aroused.) Josh knew that if you were into frotage you liked to rub against other people for sexual pleasure without consent. Josh also knew that the slang word for the area between the penis and the anus was the taint. He also knew that a dental damn did not prevent a person from swallowing semen and that genital herpes could be passed to someone during oral sex. For his sexual knowledge, Josh won a Eat this, Not That survival guide.