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DISCLAIMER: The following recap should be used for entertainment purposes only. It is NOT an official transcript of the show, is NOT fact checked by the hosts and is NOT up for any literary awards. To hear Whatever, word-for-fabulous-word, TUNE IN TO THE SHOW!
It’s open phones
Alexis doesn’t think the caps lock key is necessary and people who type in all caps are YELLING, so stop it!
Work out until you throw up!?!?
Jennifer’s trainer came yesterday. He liked her to alternate between strength exercises and cardio. He had Jennifer do a wall sit and she felt very nauseous. He said that was normal and laughed. Alexis said Kevin always showed up 5 minutes after the workout was supposed to start and didn’t stay later, so now their trainer is packing everything into the time Kevin gives her and it’s torturous. Hannah worked out and thought that if she wasn’t feeling nauseous, the exercise wasn’t working. Alexis doesn’t think you should feel sick every time. You should feel better as your body gets used to the exercise. Claudia said she got nauseous when she worked out and her doctor said that if you were nauseous, it meant you were dehydrated. Alexis said that could be one reason. Rema noticed that if she had coffee around the time she worked out she’d get really sick to her stomach. She just drinks green tea now and she feels much better.
Really Natural Housewives of NYC (Not Really)
Linda wondered what the girls thought about Bethenny’s new book about being naturally thin. Jennifer said Bethenny had never battled weight. Alexis said she smoked cigarettes at one point. The girls said her book was not really about eating natural foods. Alexis said there is nothing new out there re: dieting. Eat healthy foods moderately and exercise. And, by the way, “natural” is a meaningless word in the food industry.
Natasha Richardson
Teresa said she read that Natasha Richardson’s family donated her organs. Alexis said that was excellent and she was glad they did that. A family recently said Natasha saved their daughter’s life after she got conked in the head but it was ridiculous because they took the kid to the hospital 2 DAYS after she hit her head. Um, hello – that’s not what Natasha Richardson’s story taught us, people. This kid was lucky to have survived those 2 days.
Free blog plug
Joy and her best friend have a website and a blog and she wanted to know how they could get more traffic. Jennifer said the internet was very competitive and people viewed her and Alexis’s blog because they had a radio show. Otherwise it would be much more difficult. The girls said Joy could plug her site. It’s www.moggit.com and their blog is www.moggit.blogspot.com.
Curt chimes in
Curt loved the girls but they said they didn’t do themselves a favor yesterday by talking about Chrissy yesterday. He was afraid they’d get sued. Alexis said there was nothing to sue them about.
Alexis’s massage
It just wasn’t hard enough! Alexis had said the guy was shtuppable and didn’t think it was a big deal that she said that - it was just an observation! Jennifer said Alexis didn’t often find someone shtuppable, that’s why it was a big deal. Alexis said she didn’t get the vibe that he liked her anyway.
Free blog plug #2
Alicia thanked the girls for friending her on Facebook. She also wanted to plug her jewelry. It’s www.istanbuldesigns.com.
Mrs. Robinson calls in
Gillian (Jennifer’s friend who is 15 years older than her boyfriend) called in. She said it was 12-13 years and, by the way, they were in the car together. She wanted to talk to Jennifer about slow cookers. Alexis said Gillian could send her young, internet savvy boyfriend right to the internet because she knew nothing about slow cookers. Jennifer said Rosie gave her a beautiful one for her birthday. Gillian said she didn’t cook and she heard you could dump stuff in and then it tasted good. Jennifer said you could leave it cooking all day, it was wonderful! Alexis said it was ridiculous. Jennifer said hers was so great. Alexis wondered how Jennifer knew this because she "never effing used it."
How to kick your kid out of the house
Lynn called to talk to Paulie. Alexis said, “About how to deal with damp, cramped places?” Lynn wanted to get her son out of the house. Paulie said the only way his parents were going to get rid of him was by changing the locks. Alexis said Lynn should stop doing things that made him comfortable. Or just have noisy sex all the time. Just annoy the crap out of him! Paulie said all of that would definitely work. Another caller said she kicked her son out of the house but he kept coming back. Now he has been at home for almost a year and she told him he had to leave. Cutting the cord was easy with the other kids but not him. He was the middle kid. Alexis said, “Oh, the ignored one. Is he your least favorite?”
Massage therapist XXX scenarios
Jennifer discussed scenarios that might tempt Alexis to sleep with her massage therapist. What if he just whipped it out or took off all of his clothes? Alexis said she would be surprised and she wasn’t paying for that. Alexis admitted there was a chance she would have sex with him if such a far-fetched scenario took place. Jennifer said that was what she was saying - Alexis had a little bit of like for him! Alexis said that in any case, he was getting fired after the next session if he didn’t cause excruciating pain. Jennifer wondered what she would wear the next time she went. She said it would be pretty (because she always wears pretty underwear if someone (anyone!) is going to see it) but not sexy and no makeup because if she had to be face down it on the table would be a mess afterwards.
Paulie hearts crabs
Paulie brought the girls an article about the fact that crabs feel pain and how he now felt bad about eating crabs. Alexis wondered if he’d eat a hamburger again and discussed all the ways cows suffered. What was the difference? Paulie said people just don’t think about crustaceans having feelings. Alexis said the article was a little overboard at the moment – there were a LOT of bad things going on! Paulie said he knew other animals felt pain but it was more like ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ so you don’t have to feel guilty about eating them. Rich in Boston said he felt pain, too - when the hermit crabs pinched him! Alexis asked what was WRONG with him. He said he thought the article would wreck his industry in New England. Alexis said it wasn’t going to do anything to the industry. Jennifer wanted to know if hermit crabs could get as big as lobsters. Rich said they could get the size of a grapefruit. They live 18-20 years in the wild; in the house – 5 years. Caller Jen said people don’t eat hermit crabs. She had been eating crabs since she was a baby. They put them on ice first so they are numb before you steam them. Alexis said you could also crack them over the head with a cleaver to kill them.
Stop, or they’ll shoot (a picture)
Alexis said there was all this outrage over these new traffic cameras they were installing and she wondered what the big deal was. If you know it’s there, stop! People were so angry that they were taking a particular camera down. Don’t break the law and you won’t have to pay a fine! Someone called in saying that they just wanted to make money off of traffic violations but Beth from Orlando said traffic light cameras were not a money making thing. A lot of research went into what intersections needed the lights and a lot of money was spent installing the cameras. She said that the severity of accidents went way down after these cameras were installed and lives were saved.
Find your loved ones on Whatever
Josette said she thought a previous caller (Curt) was her dad. She was going to be 41 and the last time she spoke to him was when she was 27. He and her mom divorced when she was a baby and her mom remarried a man who was well-to-do. Curt had come to see her sister and her when they were young and her stepfather told him to step out of the picture. When she was 28, she found Curt's address and wrote him a letter saying she didn’t want anything from him and harbored no resentment but she wanted to know him. A couple weeks later he called and they talked and she ended up visited him and his girlfriend. He later visited her and met more of the family. But then he started acting really weird and once she called and the girlfriend was mean to her. She wasn't sure what happened but hoped he was doing okay and said that she worried about him. She would like to get in touch with him but didn’t know where he was at in his life. Jennifer said she should give them her email address and if he contacted the girls they would provide him with her info.
Color me crescent moon
Sean asked what the paint colors were in Alexis’s new apartment. Alexis said one was called crescent moon and one was silver satin, but she didn’t know who made them. She would find out. The colors were very light and similar. The ceilings in the apartment have to be white because the building is a white building and residents can’t change the ceiling color because the window frames are all white and it would make the building look weird from the outside. Everyone had to have the same shades in their apartments, too.
New job for Alexis?
Alexis heard that one could go sandbag in North Dakota. She was looking at random jobs and wanted to see if she could do them. A lot of them required some strength. Grain tester: must be able to lift 50 pounds; 12 hour shift. You are alone, going from railroad to railroad and you test the grain. Each lid of the grain barrel weighs 50 pounds. Tree planter/weed barrier applicator: job duration 4-150 days(!?!): walk over rough terrain, lift, carry and handle 50-100 pound parcels; work outdoors in inclement weather. Hmmm. Well, Alexis would rather do these things then work in McDonald’s.
Norn’s caricature
Alex thought that Alexis looked like a guy in the illustration on Facebook. Alexis said there was a horrible picture of her in the Rosie birthday dinner blog where her chin actually looked that big. The girls thought the illustration was cute. Rhonda loved the caricature and said Norn (Norncutson.com) did good work. She added that she saw a 70-year-old woman with hickeys the other day. Jennifer said it was probably blotchy skin. Rhonda said no way! Alexis said you should be able to have fun after 70. Jennifer said yes, but no one needs to know about it.
Real Housewives…of Virginia?
Katie wanted Virginia to have one. She was 47 and wanted to try out. She said they weren’t “really real” on the other shows. Alexis said they wanted the freaks from hell to be on the show, not someone normal. Katie insisted that she wasn’t that normal. Casey wondered if there was anything stylish or TV worthy about the “Countess” on Real Housewives of NYC? Alexis thought what was TV worthy was that this person was totally affected, etc. She was also striking and tall and fit. Alexis thought her hair looked okay and it didn’t bother her nearly as much as Alex’s frizzfest, teeth and apartment, not necessarily in that order. Jennifer said Alex looked like a crack whore. Both girls agreed that Alex and her husband were “loathsome.”
Stay tuned!