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DISCLAIMER: The following recap should be used for entertainment purposes only. It is NOT an official transcript of the show, is NOT fact checked by the hosts and is NOT up for any literary awards. To hear Whatever, word-for-fabulous-word, TUNE IN TO THE SHOW!
Lance, you suck!
Everyday Alexis checked in to see how Lance Armstrong was doing on the tour. He had been so snotty about winning that Alexis loved that he was losing. Speaking of biking, Alexis said she probably would never bike in NYC. Her last bike ride ended up with her falling flat on her face. Jennifer saw the aftermath of a bike accident last weekend and it wasn’t pretty.
Lamp update
Alexis was returning the one dismembered lamp in her apartment and the other intact lamp to the insurance company.
Dinner with Martha
Alexis went to dinner with her mother. She sat on the banquette and it made her look four feet tall. They brought Alexis pillows and then the woman next to her wanted pillows. Martha ordered the artichoke and Alexis said it was going to be messy. She told Alexis it would be fine and then she got a spot on her shirt from the vinaigrette. Alexis thought the restaurant was only filled with old people. She also noted that their sommelier was soooo dry. Alexis actually said to him, “After work do you want to go fuck in the back?” She was trying to be funny and get him to crack. Jennifer asked what Martha did after she said that. Alexis said she thought Martha might have laughed. Martha got in a car afterwards and asked if Alexis was going to be okay getting home. She joked that she was going to go fuck the sommelier.
Today
The girls were on the Today show this morning. Jennifer was in the Sirius offices very early in the morning and then she headed over to Today around 7:40am. She met Alexis and then they were there for about 3 hours. The appearance was very fun.
Mosque at ground zero?
People were trying to stop the group that wanted to erect a mosque near ground zero by declaring the buildings in the area historic landmarks and saying they couldn’t alter them in any way. The girls played an advertisement to see if it affected people’s opinion about the issue. The ad was nasty and made Alexis want them to build the mosque more. Alexis said the proposed building area was not around the corner or on the WTC site. It was a few blocks away.
Game
Mel Gibson or not? Paulie read quotes and the girls had to decide whether it was something Mel said to Oxsana or something he said in a movie. The girls discussed Oxsana taking all of her and Mel’s issues public. Jennifer said maybe she was scared or it was just an act of desperation. Alexis didn’t think it was fair to the kids.
Fatal attraction
Alexis and Jennifer’s friend “Beverly”met this guy and she didn’t really like him because he was a little too into her. Jennifer said if you liked someone a lot, you’d be unnerved about the guy being too into you, but it would be in a good way. She saw a dirty text from the guy on the girl’s phone at 8am. Bev told Jennifer she kind of told the guy to back off. She liked the dirty texts and hot sex, though. Today, however, Bev told Jennifer she broke up with the guy. Soon after she got an email from a “close friend” of his saying that he killed himself. Neither Jennifer or Alexis believed that he killed himself and it turned out that he didn’t. Bev was now freaking out just a tad.
I learned it by watching you
As parents, should you tell your kids about the drugs you’ve done if they ask? One article says ask the kids why they are asking the question. Alexis wasn’t ever a big drug user but she didn’t understand how hard it could be to refrain from talking about how effing great it was to use drugs. Incidentally, Alexis never wanted to smoke anything in high school. It was also very fashionable in her high school to smoke pot so that made her NOT want to do it. Jennifer liked cigarettes of 17 but didn’t like drinking. Jennifer said there had to be levels of what was okay and what was not okay. Jennifer told her son she sent a love letter to a boy in camp when she was 11 and he showed all the guys in his bunk. Everyone mocked her after that.
Stutterers
Alexis read an article about the shame of adult stuttering. Jennifer and Alexis didn’t really know any stutterers. Michael’s friend used to stutter in high school. Producer Dan had a relative who stuttered that they mocked behind his back. Jennifer said it must be awkward to be a stutterer and get in an argument with someone.
Bless you
AMEX was running a contest with the Tribeca film festival involving people sending in videos of movie pitches. There was one that was considered the worst movie pitch ever and people were voting for it like they voted for Sanjaya on American Idol. The pitch was a horror movie where if you sneeze, you die. It was called Ah-choo.
Stay tuned!